The Slab Press

Google Maps is normally quite reliable when it comes to road closures. Nonetheless, thanks to its directions yesterday, we joined a long line of idiots turning round and diverting back through Olney due to severe flooding. Passing the familiar bridge in the town, we looked right to see the weir had vanished, and the water level of the Ouse to the left ran almost level up to the road, turning the nearby fields into temporary lakes. As we followed the road away from the village and looked back across to the town, the 14th-century church of St Peter and St Paul looked like it was surrounded by floodwater to the brickwork, the mirrored steeple reflecting in the water. It wasn’t quite that bad in reality, but when you’re heading to an event like Innsmouth, an uncanny start to the day is quite apt. Even though it made us get there later than we wanted to.

Perhaps the flooding had put off some people, because this smashing event was busier before, I heard anecdotally. Not that it was at all echoey – there was audience aplenty for the panels, and a choice number of guests including Guest of Honour Charles Stross, and the Queen of Grimdark, Anna Smith-Spark. Our venue was the former Crayola factory, now the King’s House conference centre. Did the lingering scent of Burnt Sienna pervade the air – alas no! But I could smell lovely coffee and cake, of which there was lots. Sadly, we didn’t win the gorgeous and mighty books and tentacles cake that was being raffled, but well done whoever did. And well done Helen the baker!

Having realised that our fellow cast member from The Extraordinary Time-Travelling Adventures of Baron Munchausen, C. J. Hooper, was one of the acts providing the entertainment for Innsmouth After Dark at Bedford Esquires, we tarried a while, which meant finding some food, and we found Charcoal Grill, offering Lebanese shish, shawarmas, and pilaf-style rice with salad, yoghurt and soumac. Delicious, delicately spiced, and plentiful, but I would say they have tailored the menu slightly towards Bedford’s less culinary ambitious gourmands.

Bedford After Dark was in a smashing spit-and-sawdust type event venue called Bedford Esquires that reminded me of the old Dudley JBs (Back of Pathfinder one). “I see a ceiling tile and I want paint it black” etc.

First act was Edwyrdian Tales, doing a marvellous rendition of H.P. Lovecraft’s “The Outsider” that kept us all captivated!

Then came C. J. with some astoundingly good improvised poems taking fairy tales and Lovecraftian themes and spinning ridiculous rhymes out of mundane encounters for the characters. So clever, and really, really funny!

Headlining the show was Byronic Sex and Exile with some gothic tunes. Sadly we could only stay for a couple of songs as we had to get back.

Thank you Innsmouth Gold and Bedford!

The Slab Press are out and about now as soon as next Saturday, as we head to Northampton Museum’s Book Extravaganza. We really are a scree-um. See you at the Museum. 10am-4pm, Saturday 5th October.

PS. Newsletter subscribers got some calls for submissions news this weekend. If not subscribed already, you’ll need to wait a bit longer, so make sure you are subscribed to hear first next time!